How to Escape the FEMA Dragnet
Dissidents of various stripes believe that at any time now they will be woken in the small hours by government thugs and dragged to FEMA-operated detainment facilities. Who, exactly, are these facilities designed to imprison? Depends who you ask. Patriots will say Patriots, 9/11 Truthers will say 9/11 Truthers, and polygamous creepazoids will say "the true Mormons". Or whatever.
There is a simple, idiot-proof way to avoid ending up in a FEMA camp.
Are you ready?
Here it is: If you don't already live in a disaster-prone part of the U.S., move to one immediately. Wait for the inevitable (earthquake, tornado, volcanic eruption, etc.). In the wake of the disaster, stand on the rooftop of your home and bellow for help as loudly as you can for days on end. It wouldn't hurt to have an elderly relative in a wheelchair or some squalling babies with you.
You're safe. Congratulations.
Also: FEMA's faux press conference