Saturday, August 11, 2007

The World's Weirdest/Stupidest Conspiracy Theories

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(in no particular order, with each theory's author or main proponent in parentheses, if known)

  • The driver shot JFK. (the late William Cooper)
  • The Beatles were designed and sent to the U.S. by the British Psychological Warfare Division, to undermine the morals of American teenagers. (Lyndon LaRouche)
  • Christ's Crucifixion was staged. (Hugh Schonfield) Christ eloped with Mary Magdalene, and one or both of them fled to France to raise their family. (Baigent/Leigh/Lincoln)
  • Christ and his disciples were a magic-mushroom cult. (Dead Sea Scrolls scholar John Allegro)
  • HIV/AIDS was created in a lab.
  • HIV does not cause AIDS.
  • Man never landed on the moon. It's not even possible. But there is an alien base there. (see Wikipedia; for an artful and very funny parody of how these theories can be patched together from unrelated material, watch the mockumentary Dark Side of the Moon)
  • The Zapruder film is entirely fake, even though it contradicts the findings of the Warren Commission. (Jim Fetzer)
  • Stephen King killed John Lennon. (Steve Lightfoot)
  • WWII was staged. It never really happened. The Illuminati employed elaborate special effects, stage magic, and phony journalism to scare the world into pacifism. (Donald Holmes)
  • Queen Elizabeth I was a man. The real Elizabeth died as a child.
  • George H.W. Bush was really George Scherff Sr., a Nazi sent to destroy America as a teenager and adopted by Prescott Bush (Scherff was also an assistant to Nikola Tesla, and stole all Tesla's inventions after he was murdered by Otto Skorzeny and Reinhard Gehlen). Hitler was still alive in Montana in 1997, and Josef Mengele is keeping himself alive and youthful with a regimen of hormones and cannibalism. Oh, and Curious George was inspired by a young George Scherff Jr.; that's probably why Alan J. Shalleck was murdered by two men he met through a gay sex network one day before the movie premiered. (this information comes from a man named Eric Berman, who claims he heard it straight from his girlfriend's dad, Otto Skorzeny, in Florida during the late '90s. Skorzeny died in Madrid in 1975.)
  • One promoter of the Scherff-Bush story adds that Josef Mengele was the real Zodiac, the Boston Strangler(s), and the anthrax letter mailer. (http://www.thebushconnection.com/)
  • The 1939 War of the Worlds radio broadcoast was a psychological warfare study funded by C.D. Jackson on behalf of the Rockefeller Foundation, designed to find out how Americans would react to an enemy invasion. Funny... in a trailer for his mockumentary F is for Fake, Orson Welles did say the WoW broadcast had "secret sponsors". (Daniel Hopsicker)
  • A really old one that just won't die: Jews drink the blood and eat the flesh of Gentile children during Passover. Some Catholics still revere the relics of Medieval child saints supposedly slaughtered and devoured by Jews.
  • The doomed Franklin Expedition was sent to the Arctic not only to find the Northwest Passage, but to secretly investigate UFO sightings that had been reported since the 1700s. The men were captured, experimented upon, and eaten by giant aliens. (Jeffrey Blair Latta)
  • Hitler and some associates escaped to the Arctic in a submarine, to live with super-advanced aliens who reside within the hollow earth. (This story originated with Edward Bulwer-Lytton's novel The Coming Race, was treated as fact by the pre-Nazi Vril Society, was bolstered by the forged "secret diary" of Admiral Byrd, and was adopted by the likes of Ernst Zundel)
  • Denver International Airport was built expressly to conceal a vast underground complex, headquarters of the New World Order elite. Clues are hidden in the airport's peace-themed mural.
  • Scientology: Billions of years ago the intergalactic overlord Xenu used a film to brainwash our souls ("Thetans") into believing in the world's major religions, which he invented.
  • Gnosticism: The entire material world is an evil trap created by the imposter God of the Bible.
  • Nation of Islam: White people were created in a lab.
  • Jesuits sank the Titanic to kill some of the world's richest, most powerful Jews.
  • The early Middle Ages (614-911 A.D.) never occurred. Everything that supposedly happened during those years was either a misunderstanding, an event from a different era, or an outright lie - Charlemagne, for instance, is a fictional figure. And we are actually living in the 1700s. (Herbert Illig's phantom time hypothesis)
  • Shortly before he left office, Bill Clinton secretly signed into law the National Economic Security and Reformation Act (NESARA). This act would have completely restructured the U.S. government by - among other things - forgiving all personal credit card debt and mortgages, abolishing the IRS, restoring constitutional law, and somehow ensuring world peace - but the Supreme Court placed a gag order on it, and threatened death to any government official who breathed word of its existence. NESARA activists around the world are agitating to get the act announced and instituted.
  • Aspartame, flouride, genetically modified foods, and vaccines are used specifically to keep us sick and open to suggestion, and/or as part of a secret depopulation plan designed by the world's elite.
  • Atlanta child murder theories: Victims were used for CDC research into Interferon; KKK Klansmen posed as cops to wipe out young black men (Dick Gregory); white scientists needed the boys' foreskins to produce a cure for cancer and/or a youth serum. (Dick Gregory again)
  • Jeffrey Dahmer was an actor hired by the Ambrosia Chocolate company to pose as a cannibal killer so no one would object to the factory being torn down and another one built with illegal tax breaks (posted by "manoftruth" on online forums devoted to Rush and Bon Jovi, along with rants on Wicca and Jews; his name might be Mark Zahn, but who knows?).
And here's a fun one: By combining two separate conspiracy theories, you can turn Hitler into Jack the Ripper!
Theory #1: Prince Eddy, Duke of Clarence, faked his death to move to Germany and become Adolph Hitler.
Theory #2: Prince Eddy, Duke of Clarence (and/or Freemasons acting on his behalf) was Jack the Ripper.
Hence, Prince Eddy might have killed several prostitues, faked his own death, then resurfaced in Austria as Hitler.

226 comments:

1 – 200 of 226   Newer›   Newest»
Wayne Allen Sallee said...

Love the blog name and I'll continue to visit.

tshsmom said...

Stephen King is too cross-eyed to shoot straight. ;)

SME said...

Heh heh, I thought the exact same thing! Poor guy.

Alcuin Bramerton said...

NESARA will happen. But first the dead wood has to be cleared out. Wolfowitz, Card, Libby, Rumsfeld, Bolton, Miers, Bartlett, Rove and Gonzalez have gone now. Others will go soon. And then Bush and Cheney will follow them down the road. All the monies are in place.

More background here:
http://alcuinbramerton.blogspot.com/2007/07/nesara-announcement-expected-in-run-up.html

SME said...

Well, when it's announced that will be a happy day.

Anonymous said...

All world religions are controlled by governments in an attempt to keep the population under control

Anonymous said...

no 9-11 theories? not even the holo-planes and the flying orbs?

Dave said...

Fomenko's lost-time theory is FAR more insane than Illig's.

not with the stupid said...

the stupidiest theory ever is that there are no conspiracies!!

Anonymous said...

You missed the various loons who assert: Shakespeare was really ____________.

Simon said...

A commenter above beat me to it - surely the theory that the Bush administration either blew up the twin towers or in the alternative orchestrated the attacks on 9/11 because [insert outlandish theory here; extra points for mentioning the Jews or the Illuminati] deserves prominence here.

gb said...

You do realize that what you have really is the basis of Scientology, don't you?

Anonymous said...

About gnosticism: more than a conspiracy theory it's a philosophy. They reject everything material because product of evil, and so lived in poverty and humility.

Every religion is a conspiracy theory, because it promits that life will be better after death

Anonymous said...

You forgot the stupid 9/11 "truthers."

Bleach said...

Some of these gave me a good chuckle.

Anonymous said...

What about 'god'?

Anonymous said...

I here a good one a few years ago. If UK went communist then USA could invade to restore democracy.

Anonymous said...

You forgot about lizard men who control the destiny of humankind from below grownd:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lizard_men

Anonymous said...

Oh ya, I forgot about those Shakespeare ones.

--
Max ... Out!
http://www.cmyos.com - free online operating system.

Lindsay said...

Yeh there must be some really stupid people out there but I have to say this going to the moon thing bothers me. A friend of mine who knows someone REALLY important in NASA says that by pretending that the world is not flat they will still get their funding. Far fetched, but think about it...we only have their word. And then there's the John lennon thing ...

kid mercury said...

LOL, way to shoot down those "conspiracy theories" with loads of evidence!

of course, for those seeking the Truth, it's all out in the open -- the only obstacle is your own ignorance.

get schooled: http://www.kidmercuryblog.com/forumdisplay.php?f=224

Anonymous said...

What? no Magic Muslims that can break the laws of physics to bring down steel framed buildings with jet fuel, and somehow survive thier planes crashing?

Anonymous said...

yeah why didn't you put anything about 9/11 on there.. I mean really a bunch of saudis take over 4 US airliners, fly them around for awhile.. then crash them into a couple different buildings and mysteriously appear to be living to this day.. fucking crazy I tell you.. Oh and don't forget about how a building that was built specifically to withstand repeated direct hits by aircrafts so how collasped on itself.. fuckin lunacy.

Anonymous said...

damnit person above me beat me

José Luis said...

No PLANES hitting the WTC towers and/or the Pentagon, is right up there in silliness.

Some nutters say that the planes were HOLOGRAMS!

Some crazy lady says that SPACE BEAMS brought the towers down!

Monkey Courage said...

This is retarded. How can it list Gnosticism as a conspiracy theory? And Scientology? Then at the same time say "Christ's Crucifixion was staged." This assumes that Christianity is legitimate but all other religions are not. Either Gnosticism and Christianity are both legitimate forms of spirituality, or they should both be listed as conspiracy theories.

Anonymous said...

cheers to monkey courage

José Luis said...

LMAO! The 9/11 Hijackers are NOT ALIVE. This has been debunked. Please stop spewing nonsense.

http://www.911myths.com/html/still_alive.html

Anonymous said...

well why I do believe that planes obviously hit the WTC 1 and 2.. I still have yet to see a plane hit building 7.. Furthermore buildings that, by all expert evidence, point to controlled demolitions. And even more can you please enlighten me as to where the debris from the airliner that crashed into the pentagon is? Also can you answer why Dick was at Norad that morning running exact same scenario operations practices.. then tell me 9/11 wasn't an inside job while sucking on my left nut sac

Anonymous said...

wow citing a blog website? how about a little credibility here

Anonymous said...

flouride has been shown to create docile complacency when administered in a lab setting.

as for the mushroom cult, it actually makes a great deal of sense. check out pharmacratic-inquisition.com for more on the history of the mushroom and christianity. psychedelics were very important in cultural development throughout history.

Also ZeitgeistMovie.com - this one is excellent - it shows how early religion came from star/astronomy worship (great evidence/reasoning); then how the money system is manipulated to enslave us (like the depression was created to destabilize the population, etc.); and finally how 9/11 was EXACTLY how the commission report suggested, er i mean, not at all like that of course... CHECK IT OUT! hopefully you'll never be the same again.

Anonymous said...

zeitgeist is a great movie indeed. debunks a lot of what the leaders of the blind dictate to be truth

Anonymous said...

Christ's Crucifixion was staged

This ^ is no conspiracy.
It was staged in a way, by God.
Someone else died in his place.


Did you know the Irish use the word Isa for Jesus? As does the middle east.

Anonymous said...

To the people who have been saying God is a conspiracy; just how the fuck did we get here? Spontaneous Generation?

Anonymous said...

well "God" is a conspiracy if you can't scientifically prove it isn't

Anonymous said...

spontaneous generation doesn't sound any less crazy than immaculate conception now does it... no I didn't think so

Matthew said...

hurray for the dumbshit "truthers" talking about jet fuel not being able to bring down buildings! not a damn one of them has taken any sort of material science, and everytime they open their mouths they stick their foot in deeper, thanks to you for the great blog and thanks to the "truthers" for reminding me how stupid people can be! :-)

Anonymous said...

you're quite welcome mathhew.. now I suppose you posses some sort of engineering degree to prove me wrong? because I'm pretty sure I can give you a list of those that can prove me right.

Anonymous said...

1. There's plenty of documented evidence that states the Nazis DID put flouride in the water to cull the German population. Google is your friend, dumbass. Go ahead, drink the water. It'll just make me smarter.

2. I don't know if JFK was killed by the driver or not, but he wasn't killed by one lone gunman who got off an amazing 3 shots in 6 seconds with amazing accuracy from a bolt-action rifle while moving.

3. 9/11 was a black op that was used by the elite to use America as an engine for empire and world domination.

infowars.com, wearchange.org, Google WTC7

Eric B said...

No Kurt Cobain?

Anonymous said...

Only a few are truly conspiracy theories and few of them are conspiracy fact, but the rest (and most) are...a full load of shit, made up by some really bored people not conspiracy theorists. Sry for my bad english.

Anonymous said...

re: proof - no, of course we can't prove to you how these conspiracies are wrong, even if we can prove it to rational people. Anyone who could believe (for example) that a blue moon is "proof" that aliens are injecting some blue chemical into the air obviously does not understand the difference between proof and desire...

Nfamous said...

There is a worldwide depopulation effort going on. Everything that sounds strange is not a conspiracy theory. It just means you are too stupid to know the difference. 9/11 was a false flag and anyone with half a brain that has seen the evidence agrees. Get a grip on reality. The elite don't care if you and your families die. They want complete control of everything and they are going to get it with all these conspiracy theories about conspiracy theories.

Matthew said...

@ anonymous
why yes thank you I do, a nice B.S. of Chemical Engineering, and two years of Mechanical Engineering before I switched. Most buildings are designed with a nice strength pad 10-20% over weight load to account for wind, snow, ice, anythign that could stress the metal more. Nice steel buildings like the WTC are made of high strength forged steel columns, forging metals causes their strength to increase but also their brittleness to grow, application of controlled heat relaxes the stress slightly leaving incresed strength but less brittleness, application of higher heats relaxes the metal more, causing increasingly greater losses in strength/weight-bearing capacity. Considering how fast the temperature v. strength curve drops on regular steel around the temps of burning jet fuel a 10-20% drop in strength is easy, causing a massive rapid failure and once one beam goes its load shifts to the others and its game over. Bring your list on, even a fresh out of college engineer can disprove em as long as they stick to facts and figures and not conjecture and conspiracy. apologies to the rest of the blog, I'm done for the day, time to get back to running the plant! :D

Anonymous said...

The reason that there is no room here for the 9-11 theories is simply put: They are not conspiracies (at least any more- come on people .. Thermite in the bottom of the foundation? All the steel carried away 30 Mins after the event and shipped to china for recycling? The hole in the pentagon? Not to mention... Bush was reading to KIDS! When the F does he do that - yep you got it right... when he needs a golden alibi...) and yea... NESARA will NEVER happen .. not in this country.

Bramerton, How I wish we had that shit today. However... I am also aware that the names you mention are simply the forerunners in their corrupt game - there are many more names and faces to be exposed before something beautiful like NESARA comes into play.

Anonymous said...

@Matthew:

Please explain then why the WTC are the only modern sky-scraper of that design to ever come crashing down in a fire.

Other skyscrapers of similar design have burned for much longer - to the point that every material in the building would burn to a crisp and yet the metal frame is still standing fine without a hitch.

Anonymous said...

@ matthew

Architects & Engineers for 9/11 Truth
http://www.ae911truth.org/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5HTp9QwFLI

911Truth.org
http://patriotsquestion911.com/
scholarsfor911truth.org
journalof911studies.com
theultimateconspiracy.com
Pilots For 9/11 Truth
Justicefor911.org
911independentcommission.org
septembereleventh.org
911inquiry.org
911ea.org
wtceo.org
911initiative.org
william911.com
www.whodidit.org/
9/11 Regional Sites
ny911truth.org
dc911truth.org
sf911truth.org
911truthla.us
vt911.org
v911truth.org
911truthualbany.org
northtexansfor911truth.com
pocono911truth.com
9-11.meetup.com
philly911truth.org
atlanta911truth.org
houston911truth.org
9/11 Related Sites
cooperativeresearch.org
911Research.WTC7.net
911review.com
911proof.com
truthmove.org
911pressfortruth.com
911weknow.com
911revisited.com
william911.com
mujca.com
truthaction.org
911readingroom.org
911busters.com
9eleven.info
tyrannyalert.com
universalseed.org
deceptiondollar.com
questioning911.com
911truthnow.org
legitgov.org
911omissionreport.com
911truthseekers.org
timetowakeup.net
8thestate.com
911source.org
911think.com
911tv.org
911.clubivy.org
globalconspiracyvideos.com
whokilledjohnoneill.com
grandtheftcountry.com
Youth for 9/11 Truth
truth911.net
justacitizen.com
MartialLaw911.info
911truestory.com
911sharethetruth.com
wanttoknow.info
bush911video.com
Flight77.info
explosive911analysis.com
flight93crash.com
unansweredquestions.org
emergencynow.info
911bookshelf.com
summeroftruth.org
911truthradio.com
supportthetruth.com
mime11.com
oilempire.us
physics911.net
physics911.ca
jonhs.net/911/
nw0.info
comcast.net/~skydrifter
investigate911.com
www.timetowakeup.net

Anonymous said...

Hey Matthew,

So mind if I ask why you switched from Mechanical? Seems to me someone couldn't take the reassure... Trust me fool... the WTC could take that pressure... and probably pressure from 2 more planes... Whats next.. you got a proof by induction that the "thing" that hit the most useless sections of the pentagon (curious inst it why a more important corridor wasn't hit) was indeed a plane? What about finding thermite at the bottom of the towers? Your chem-eng degree or your so called "plant" have thermite in it? If you did have some you would know what its capable of. And no amount of proof or claim from you as to your expertise will convince me that thermite was supposed to be at the bottom of the towers. Look at the videos again. Look at the facts that are in front of you. Not to mention... look at where we are now -> Iran... hahaha soon we will be in every 3rd world country claiming that they had some shit to do with 9/11 and thats why we are "stablizing" their economy. Makes me fukin jump for joy. Its people like you who refuse to look from an outside perspective that are letting the a$$holes running this country get away with the shit they pull. Hope you and your plant are doing well... me and mine are certainly having a wonderful time...

Anonymous said...

ok, then explain how the towers fell at nearly the speed of gravity, following a path of MOST resistance into their own footprint? why was there molten steel at the base?

explain WTC 7 (google video)

Erik Robson said...

How could you omit David Icke? Would you care to specify your position on our silent reptile leaders?

Matthew said...

@ anonymous
short answer: a regular building fire is not as hot as a jet fuel fueled fire and does not have the shock of a huge jet dislodging the fire protection coatings leaving them significantly more vunerable to the fire. if you wish to continue posing questions, why not email me?

Anonymous said...

Hey Matthew,

No response to my prev post that started w/ hey matthew?... guess you got none to say

Matthew said...

@ later anonymouses

oh noes! I'm a tool of the vast right wing conspiracy! how dare I apply logic and math! 1. thermite is a an EXTREMELY loose term capable of being made from multiple metals and compositions, iron, chrome, aluminum and is simply a rapid reduction reaction. 2.Mechanical was so easy it was boring, I went chem cause it was still easy but at least more interesting 3.objects fall at acceleration of gravity, when thousands of tons are falling, the tiny bit of resistance offered by lower sections of the building doesn't even phase the KE of the upepr sections. 4. OH SHIT INTERNET FIGHT! seriously if you anonymouses(aside from the seemingly rational one from earlier) want to keep jabbering, hit my email, let the msg board rest and poke fun at some of the other conspiracies.

Anonymous said...

why are so many people so stupid

reading the comments made me feel like a genius

please kill yourselves so you don't have offspring

Anonymous said...

Matthew:

1. Explain how the planes hit the SIDE of the building, but yet somehow both buildings fall perfectly into their own footprint?

2. Explain how jet fuel and gravity can turn the steel, concrete, and other materials in those buildings into DUST.

3. What about WTC7? The current "explanation" is that a the debris of the the Twin Towers caused the fire, causing it to collapse. But, wait! No plane filled with jet fuel hit WTC7. How do you explain that?

4. Why is it that it takes demolition experts MONTHS of planning and many specialized explosives in order to demolish a building, when they could just simply douse the steel structure in fuel, light it on fire, and it will "magically" fall to dust in its own footprint?

The ONLY high rise steel buildings to collapse due to fire were ALL on 9/11. Prove otherwise.

Matthew said...

*sigh* this is what I get for responding, if you anonymousii(or anonymous if its just one) really want to discuss then email, otherwise you're just disturbing a nice blog and a nice board, and no I'm not scared, though apparently you are otherwise you'd post by name instead of anonymity, glad to keep talking. The reason that I will close this window and not check it until late late tonight is that even if my logic is impeccable, my math perfect and my engineering romanesque you will still not be convinced, so why bother? email me if you aren't to scared and have a nice day!

Anonymous said...

Matthew defeated. My job is done here.

Anonymous said...

"Aspartame, flouride, genetically modified foods, and vaccines are used specifically to keep us sick and open to suggestion, and/or as part of a secret depopulation plan designed by the world's elite."

Heh, you know you forgot about the rise of Autism. But look around and you tell me, that we aren't being treated like a crop by big pharm? Look at your TV & print ads, it's all xy wonder drug!...

Turn off the TV and wake up.

Anonymous said...

What about the "Elvis is alive" one?

Oh and btw, for those saying that God can't be proven by science... he can't be unproven either.

Eternalsoul said...

Nice post. What about Princess Di? No mention of the ridiculous conspiracies surrounding her death.
Eternalsoul

Benjamin said...

Sad to say, but the comment wars are the best part of this post.

Mitch said...

If you have in fact read into all of these subjects then this post is in very poor taste - alot of these seem to be either misinterpretations or purposeful misrepresentations of fields which are otherwise very logical, sober, interesting, and, in alot of these cases, not conspiracy theories at all. Basically, this is untasteful disinfo.

WE KNOW that christianity borrowed its ideas and figures from previous religions, and that all ancient religions have extremely similar figures and ideas, just rearranged, borrowed, renamed throughout thousands of years, and that these ancient figures and ideas were based on a mixture of astrology, astronomy, and pharmaceutical shamanism. Or more specifically, religion emerged as the pursuit of knowledge, and psychedelics were a tool for this. (One might find it interesting the importance of psychedelics in the evolution of microtechnology.)

Spirituality and science were originally the same. 'Religion' was the original politics, and so obviously so, and it's a shame that some of the most 'unbiased' historians and scientists don't take this into consideration.

So yeah, 'christianity was a mushroom taking cult' sounds like the lamest kind of disinfo.

Anonymous said...

lol @ 9/11 conspiracy-theorist nutjobs popping up to our amusement.

Anonymous said...

Hey Matthew,

(I always start my posts like this). Well you see ... its not a question of being scared or not... it is a question of being logical and right. Here are the numbers:
Steel melts (thats MELTS) at 1700C
Jet fuel burns at a MAX of 800C
Thermite however easily gets to 2500C and with sulphor added... goes wayy above that easily. Now.. with these numbers in front of you... can you please explain... (noting with your eng background) that Steel does not become malliable until +- 100 Degrees of its melting point - how did jetfuel buring at a measly 800 SLICE through the steel?

And as far as your old post about the momentum of the top half n what not... Why do demolition companies not only wire the middle floors? Why do they waste thousands of pounds of explosives on all the subsequent floors? Think before you flaunt your opinion (which you presume is godly given your wonderful educational experience).. BTW where you go to school matthew? and oh yea... are you a libertarian? ROFL

Anonymous said...

And BTW matthew,

I could make up a silly name and you wouldnt even know it wasnt me... not to mention you might be Pres Bush himself!!

Anonymous said...

LOL @ you who thinks its a conspiracy theory and also thinks his shit smells like fucking flowers... Wake up and smell you SHIT

frogan said...

Matthew, if you're still checking back, it was a nice try. But some people, you just can't reach with the facts. Take solace in knowing the 911 crazies are wrong now, and they'll always be wrong, at everything, and someday, they'll be working for you.

SME said...

9/11 stuff deserves a separate post.
"Dave", thanks for the heads up on Fomenko's Lost Time.

Mr. Reasonably Green said...

How about this one? - The elite are using time travel to come back to 'now' and promote abortion to kill off the indigo children that will oppose them in the future.
http://www.miniaturebrainwave.com/2007/09/18/sounds-like-the-terminator-to-me/

Bad Wombat said...

Well, you seem to be operating with a rather loose definition of "conspiracy theory". I would say that Gnostics just have a different view of god and creation then Christians. Both views are scientifically unprovable (otherwise you wouldn't need faith in order to believe in god), but as far as spiritual beliefs go I don't see big difference between "evil god" and "good god" versions. And Scientology, despite being one of the silliest religions in the world history, is still a religion and is not a conspiracy theory.

Now about the missing ones. I am not entirely sure about the whole 9/11 event, most "conspiracy theory" explanations are somewhere on the edge between inadequate and ridiculous, but the official version of events is right there with them. I feel it is somehow more comfortable to believe that 9/11 is a result of a malicious intelligence, then of a benevolent stupidity.

You definitely missed the whole "Area 51" shebang, the "Elders of Zion", the "Ancient wise men of the underground city of Shambala", the whole UFO abduction theme and all the silly "humans were created from great apes by aliens visiting earth" theories.

evil_yoda said...

@anonymous

1. Explain how the planes hit the SIDE of the building, but yet somehow both buildings fall perfectly into their own footprint?
- The forces from the impact of the planes jarred all the fire coatings of the loose, causing the structure to WEAKEN. That caused the structure at the top of the building to fail, our friend gravity did what it does and pulled the failed structure downwards.

2. Explain how jet fuel and gravity can turn the steel, concrete, and other materials in those buildings into DUST.
- The extreme forces caused by the collapsing structure would be enough to essentially pulverize anything and everything, including concrete and steel.

3. What about WTC7? The current "explanation" is that a the debris of the the Twin Towers caused the fire, causing it to collapse. But, wait! No plane filled with jet fuel hit WTC7. How do you explain that?
- I am not one of the experts researching the WTC7 collapse and I am eagerly waiting to read their report on WTC7. Early theories report WTC7 had large quatities of diesel fuel stored to run the building's back up generators. If those caught on fire and the weakening of the structure due to the debris from the twin towers slamming into it might be enough to bring the building down.

4. Why is it that it takes demolition experts MONTHS of planning and many specialized explosives in order to demolish a building, when they could just simply douse the steel structure in fuel, light it on fire, and it will "magically" fall to dust in its own footprint?
- Again, the extreme forces of a boeing jet slamming into a building at a speed of 500 mph along with a fire weakening the bare steel structure caused the top part of the structure to fail and gravity did the rest. It's the magic of physics!

Seriously, you truthers need to get off your high moral horse and go DIAF.

Anonymous said...

"# Christ's Crucifixion was staged. (Hugh Schonfield) Christ eloped with Mary Magdalene, and one or both of them fled to France to raise their family. (Baigent/Leigh/Lincoln)
# Christ and his disciples were a magic-mushroom cult. (Dead Sea Scrolls scholar John Allegro)"

It's not clear to me that these are necessarily "weird" or "stupid" or "conspiracy theories" in the general sense of a "conspiracy theory."

Schonfield in particular was a respected Biblical scholar.

Baigent and Leigh have less credentials, but they draw on considerable biblical scholarship for their theories.

Allegro's theory is the least likely, but not impossible.

Throwing everything one doesn't agree with in the list doesn't make the list particularly useful.

Anonymous said...

"Denver International Airport was built expressly to conceal a vast underground complex" --- Yes it was. How else would all of the missing luggage be hidden.

mike said...

I can't wait for the end of Ken Burn's War when it is revealed that WW2 was just a hoax!

Anonymous said...

It's all the fault of the sheeny kikey jew christkiller international banker ZOG Kharzite flesh-eating jewy jewy jewy jew jew jew jews!!!!!

Right?

Doesn't matter what the issue is. It's the JEW JEW JEWS at fault. They're responsible for WW I, WW II, international banking, the fact that you can't get your girlfriend to give you a blowjob, Iran, Iraq - oh, and Muhammad was a secret JEW JEW JEW too. Right?

Protocols of Zion? Boy, that ain't the half of it. The REAL protocols are at this moment being used to control your brain. L. Ron Hubbard - originally Harstein - was a kikey hooknose JEW JEW JEW too. So Scientology is jewish.

9/11? A jewish plot. So was 8/11 and 10/11 and ALL the days before and after. Global warming? Katrina? Blacks? All jewish plots. There are no "Asians". They're evil replicants cooked up by JEW JEW JEW doctors in secret underground volcano labs under the Denver Airport - and every other airport in the US!

I could go on, but I sense that some of you are beginning to doubt. That's because you're SECRET JEWISH SYMPATHIZERS. We have your names.

ratdreams said...

this blog post is was clearly written by W himself.

Michael said...

Why is it that it takes demolition experts MONTHS of planning and many specialized explosives in order to demolish a building, when they could just simply douse the steel structure in fuel, light it on fire, and it will "magically" fall to dust in its own footprint?

Well, it could be that if they did it that way, it would cause nearby buildings to fall down, and blanket entire cities with carcinogenic dust. But hey, I'm not an expert at this like you are.

Anonymous said...

anyone defending the official story about 9/11 is truly looking for the easy way out. why has there been so many fishy political and evidential circumstances surrounding the event? go rethink what you think about this administration and how far they are willing to go, at how often they contradict themselves, at the amount of times they have lied and covered up things, at how secretive they are in a historical sense, etc etc etc. Gnosticism is not a conspiracy theory by any stretch of the imagination. Nor are several other things posted. It's a novel idea though, there are a lot of ridiculous theories out there, you just might have to do some revisions. hard to believe you left the ufo stuff off, but I suppose it's pretty hard to disprove that stuff, especially with the amount of reports throughout the years. there needs to be a shitload of stuff added to this list!

E.D.L said...

maybe what you said is true!!LOL!

r$ said...

God 911 conspiracy people are a special kind of stupid. Seriously, I started to write a reasoned response to some of their posts but its clear to me by now that reason is the last thing you guys are capable of. Any way evil_yoda did a good job of answering some of your retarded questions. And i say retarded because almost every 911 conspiracy question has a non truth in it. Like the ever popular THERE WERE NO PLANE PARTS AT THE PENTAGON!!!!111 Actually there were a ton of plane parts and it takes all of 10 fing seconds to find them on gis. But, as they say, don't let the facts get in your way.

Rich said...

Also mathew just fing owned you sorry asses and all you can do is switch over to another question. God forbid you, you know, take your own advice and think for yourselves. (-11 truthers - I'd call them the real sheep, but that would be an insult to sheep.

malaclypse said...

Every free thinking citizen ought to question the government's official 9/11 conspiracy theory. It is, after all, the justification for the blatant power grab in the middle east as well as at home with increased surveillance and loss of civil liberties. Sure, there is plenty of disinfo and obviously false theories floating around (including the government's, which is the most absurd of all), but that's even more of a reason for seeking the truth and calling for a real investigation by objective, non-politicized experts and researchers. You can also do your own investigation by looking up the information from numerous independent sites specializing in 9/11 research (meaning non-corporate/government propaganda sources). Here is a good site to start off from if you are seriously interested in getting to the truth of 9/11 (as you should be): http://stj911.org/perception/misinformation.html

Jason said...

This is all kinds of fail for a) Gnosticism and b) the absence of 9/11 conspiracy theories.

Gnosticism was a Christian sect, but from this post you'd think otherwise. It's actually the precise intersection of Manicheanism (the world is pure good/evil) and epistemology, and pessimism.

9/11 conspiracy theories - ha. They are like JFK assassination conspiracy theories written in crayon. The building 7 stuff really takes the cake. Wow, a building mere yards from the largest structural collapse in human history, in an uncontrolled burn for hours, how it EVER fall down without detonation?

Anonymous said...

Nothing in here about the Romanovs? Wealth unequaled in today's terms, 2 missing bodies, and numerous 'sightings' over the years. Not to mention their bloodline has been traced through most of the "royalty" in Europe and throughout the world.(New World Order?)

The 9/11 conspiracies are endless, some can be proven, some can be disproven... This will be an endless debate and will most likely never have an ending. Lets move on and correct what has happened since then and then we can sort it all out. ie. Anyone remember on 9/11, while watching the news coverage of the events as they happened... CNN cut away from the coverage of the Pentagon to show an overhead map of Iraq... A large military convoy was seen leaving Baghdad heading toward Syria(WMD). These were likely transported to the Bakaa Valley in Lebanon for storage. This has not been mentioned since and if it were to be mentioned again it could possible tie many theories about the war together.

UFO's are a conspiracy that I think most of us want to believe, hence the lack of interest in proving them wrong.

To the theories about religion... think of it this way... "TRUST IN GOD... QUESTION ALL RELIGION". The ideas behind most religions are what matters not how people have bent them over the years for their own purposes.

The deeper you dig into Cheney's past and present the more fearful you should become. Theories aside, the facts are scary enough.

I would like to see something on the deaths surrounding the Clinton years in the White House.

Please don't forget the current conspiracy theories pushed upon us by our government... (too many to name)

Anonymous said...

I'd include "AIDS was created by white people to destroy Africa" in any "craziest conspiracy theories ever" list. Along with the ones about the moon landing.

Anonymous said...

All you people criticizing 9/11 truth are doing a great job at staying asleep and not thinking for yourselves. Don't listen to what other people say! Go investigate it for yourselves and find out that the official story is physically impossible.

Michael said...

It doesn't take a genius to know that some of these conspiracy theories are bogus. But it takes a moron to think that some of them are bogus. :) have a nice day.

Anonymous said...

I love a good loony conspiracy theory. My all-time favorite was from the Rev. Tony Alamo, one of those nuts who sees the Vatican as the "Whore of Bablylon" and source of all evil. His novel contribution was to claim that The Protocols of the Elders of Zion was really an accurate blueprint of the Catholic Church's genuine plan for world domination, cleverly disguised as an antisemitic tract. In Alamo's version, the Vatican first released the Protocols to stir up hatred of Jews (Alamo was raised Jewish & later converted to the nutso wing of Christianity), and then the Vatican "revealed" the Protocols to be a "czarist forgery," pre-emptively discrediting anyone who sees the "real" Vatican conspiracy. Similarly, Alamo claimed that the Vatican created communism in the 19th century, then later engineered its "defeat" under Pope John Paul II.

Muthu Veerappan said...

how about http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Conspiracy_theories

Boz said...

I'm surprised you haven't gotten wind of the Theresa Duncan/Jeremy Blake "Conspiracy". There is an entire cottage industry devoted to their suicides.
If your interested, it would be good to start here:
http://dreamsendannex.wordpress.com/

This guy is certain that they have faked their deaths and are part of some kind of nefarious, global, post-modern alternative reality game. Funny shit. More loose ends than a drunk sorority!

Anonymous said...

Several of the Kennedy's ( not just JFK ), faked their deaths to escape the limelight and live in private paradises.

In fact, they are headed out into deep space, coddled by Vanilla Sky, VR-simulations. Because they believe that few can rule, and it is important to save the rulers from extinction.

Who killed the Kennedy's, after all?

Anonymous said...

It doesn't take a genius to think that some of these conspiracy theories are bogus.

But it takes a moron to know that all of them are bogus.

:P

Anonymous said...

Come now, Cubism is feeling all left out. I particularly enjoy how every other sentence they throw out: "Because"____" is stupid and evil." Genius!

Anonymous said...

Errr... I mean Cubicism. ;)

The Traveller said...

> Did you know the Irish use the word Isa for Jesus?

No, I didn't.... but WTF? What would I know I only spent 14 years learning the language. Also, it is Iosa (because "J" doesn't exist in the Irish Language) the "o" is significant in that it softens the "I".

Maybe the Arabs share this "J" problem like the Romans did? Oh, Yeah thats the real answer! But a complicated answer makes more interesting reading than the blindingly obvious.

Brock79 said...

What about the Paul macartney is dead theory, that has to be the dumbest one yet, a paul lookalike had plastic surgery then learned to play bass then learned to write brilliant music and fool us for all theese years, oh and the other beatles were all in on it. Still the 'clues' the conspiritors came up with were entertaining.

SME said...

The Paul-is-dead and Paul-is-fake ("Faul") theory would be a good addition, as would several of the theories about the origins of the Protocols of the Elders of Zion.

Boz - I mentioned the Duncan/Blake suicides in my "Perils of Paranoia" post, and got a LOOOOT of shit from the people who actually believe Scientologists offed them for no apparent reason. I'd like to do a more thorough post on Blake and Duncan.

I've already posted a bunch of bogus AIDS conspiracy theories, but AIDS Denialism needs a full post too.

Paul Vermeersch said...

Apparently most of your posters believe in the theory that spelling is arbitrary.

Nathan Zamprogno said...

I have a similar list of hilarious conspiracy theories, espoused by loony (and criminal) Creationist, Kent Hovind. I've listed them here.

steve said...

damn fine list there. Good reading.

Cheers for the post

Bronze Dog said...

It's really fun and frustrating to watch the twoofers. They're still recycling the same old lies and the same old propagandistic misdirection. Nothing new coming out of it.

Of course, they have yet to explain how Bush could have done it, other than appeals to magic, like ninja demolition experts with top-secret hushaboom explosives, or thermate/ite that burns perpendicular to gravity, or magical R9 orbital wave cannons that can hover over one spot despite being far north of the equator, or holographic airplanes piloted by Voyager's chief medical officer.

Yaron said...

hahaha wow, I really can't decide what's funnier, the conspiracy theories listed or the loonies posting here that they're real. anyone see that Alcuin blog on NESARA? hilaaaaaarious.

jim said...

@ Matthew:

Facts never beat "truth". Once someone claims to know the "truth", smile and back away slowly. They're a lost cause.

Still, mad kudos for a reasoned response.

@ Anyone on the fence about this:

Think for yourself. Doubt anyone who knows the "truth" especially when they weren't there. If the building has MELTED (borrowing someone elses use of caps here) maybe you'd have an argument for thermite. Albeit, a LOT of thermite. But they didn't melt - they fell from the top down.

Also be wary of glib responses, ie: "why don't demolition crews set buildings on fire?" Because a trained demo crew can take a building down WITHOUT hurting anything nearby. They do also spend a great deal of time removing glass, environmentally dangerous substances, and anything that can be reused. You can also ask any of the 1st responders (or better yet their doctors) whether or not it's a good idea.

Everybody knows jet fuel won't turn steel into magma. If it did, then airplanes would melt. Duh.

But there is an enormous leap between that fact and stating that you know the "truth", especially if it involves fantastical conspiracy theories that "your cousin heard about from some really important dude" - but can't verify from a reliable source. That's not truth, or fact - if anything it's a good sign of neurochemical inbalance.

Look at Dan Rather - he lost his job because of an actual document that he thought was legit, and maybe it was, maybe it wasn't (I don't know the "truth") but he couldn't back it up. People believe what they WANT to believe. That's why they get so upset when you question it - it satisfies some deeper psychological need, and if you threaten their much needed "truth" you threaten something much deeper. They need this for the world to make sense to them.

Both sad and scary when you think about it. Especially when you consider that these people can both drive and vote.

Anonymous said...

Don't be so dismissive of all alternative theories.

Especially when facts back some of them up.

jim said...

First, there's a world of difference between "dismissive" and skeptical. Secondly, I give ALL theories equal time because I don't believe that it is rare for anyone to have ALL of the facts.

My issue is not with the theory, but the logic presented to support it - most especially when there is a total lack of specifics. I don't view things as impossible, merely improbable. The more verifiable facts that are presented to support an argument, the more probable I will consider it.

In this instance I have yet to see any evidence to support a conspiracy theory that hasn't been debunked or logically flawed.

This is usually the part of the script where someone brings up building 7. I don't know what happened there, and I have yet to hear anyone present anything other than pure conjecture.

jim said...

Ugh - correction "I believe it is rare..." I revised my sentence and didn't remove the 'don't.' (what an awkward sentence)

Grant said...

G. K. Chesterton was Jack the Ripper; The Man Who Was Thursday is an allegorical confession for the six killings. Chesterton's role in the killings was concealed by the nefarious Oxford Movement which hoped to use spiritual energy and public outrage released by the killings to unify the Anglican and Catholic churches.

A Digital Nobody said...

http://digitalnobody.blogspot.com/2007/09/my-comment-on-worlds-weirdeststupidest.html

My thoughts on the one's reposted on BoingBoing.

Great list, interesting blog indeed! :)

Anonymous said...

no. my conspiracy theory is the dumbest. jackie shot jfk. She did it with an M16 concealed in the bouquet of flowers. The proof? She immediately attempted to flee.

Anonymous said...

Yes, Jesus and MM eloping is just crazy because we all know he bodily rose from the dead which is MUCH more believable.

And a mushroom cultist? How could anyone believe such a loony thing when we all know He was GOD!

Your conspiracy theories are ruining my fairy tales!

Anonymous said...

The driver shot JFK? Nonsense! Everyone knows it was Jackie who shot JFK!

In the Zapruder film they're both conveniently hidden behind the sign when the shot happens.

She whacked Marilyn Monroe as a warning for JFK to stop fooling around...

Anonymous said...

I once worked with a guy who told me (in strict confidence) that JFK was killed by aliens because he was going to expose an underground facility (built with money allocated for the "Cold War" -- a fiction that several nations invented so that money coud be siphoned off for this underground world) where experiments were being conducted on human females because the aliens had lost their ability to procreate.

His theory had it all - JFK, mysogeny, aliens, and distrust of the Government. He also wore a spaceship pin on his collar every day so that when "they" returned, they would know he was on their side. BTW, he was an airbrush artist who worked on Government contracts in the DC area.

little bird said...

I just had to say SOMETHING here, this is too much fun. I would like to point out that it is damned hard to prove a negative. Sure, some are relatively easy, but really.
Also, I knew someone on the plane that hit the Pentagon. Trust me. He's dead. And so is everyone else on that plane.
Also again, the WTC was built to withstand the impact of the largest Jetliner THAT WAS MADE AT THAT TIME. The planes that hit the towers, were newwer and larger.

Jabey said...

To Jim - thanks for the voice of logic. Unfortunately, people tend to believe what they read, regardless of the facts or lack thereof. I keep seeing people who reference Internet sites as "proof". That really cracks me up!

I enjoyed the list - and the comments. Good times! : )

Anonymous said...

Condolences for the truther rush even though you tactfully avoided mentioning them.

My personal favorite is the middle ages time skip. One has to be really determined to remove several hundred years of history.

Anonymous said...

Oh, almost forgot. I really like the phenomenon in Turkey of the "deep state." Basically it's your generic shadow government controlled by mafia and corporate influences, but what makes it novel is that *everyone in Turkey* believes it. Crazy stuff.

Anonymous said...

If you're a 9/11 conspiracy skeptic like I was you've got to read these:

http://www.erichufschmid.net/Conspiracies_Underdogs_Main.html
http://rigorousintuition.blogspot.com/2004/08/coincidence-theorists-guide-to-911.html
http://www.scoop.co.nz/mason/stories/HL0206/S00092.htm
http://www.oilempire.us/conspiracy.html
http://www3.sympatico.ca/sr.gowans/selective.html
http://www.onlinejournal.com/archive/05-01-01_Binion.pdf
http://www.fromthewilderness.com/free/ww3/030402_cornreply.html
http://www.davidcogswell.com/Political/CornCrusade.html
http://www.lewrockwell.com/orig3/wall4.html
http://www.commondreams.org/views03/0511-04.htm
http://www.counterpunch.org/weiner0601.html
http://www.globalresearch.ca/articles/PHI211A.html
http://www.steamshovelpress.com/fromeditor28.html

Jennifer Emick said...

I'm disappointed that Andy Kaufman's faked death isn't here...

Anonymous said...

Jews eating babies is not a conspiracy theory. I know, I was eaten by Jews when I was about 6 months old.

Abby Normal said...

BTW, no one shot JFK. He’s currently living on an island in the Bahamas. Elvis lives in the guesthouse.

Abby Normal said...

Oh, and Michael Jackson’s mental and physical abnormalities are the result of an experimental retrovirus designed in by Pfizer in 1983 to switch off the Methuselah gene. Obviously there were some initial failures. But they pretty much got it right by the time Cher was treated.

Anonymous said...

Oh man, I loved reading these comments. There is nothing better than listening to a bunch of simpletons use pseudo-science to explain their insane beliefs. 9/11 theories, hahaha.
Get fuel burns at a max of 800c, come on now...like heat works like that, it builds silly, What do you think is happening in your oven? Why would you have to pre-heat? Because it builds. Also, it wasn't like that jet fuel was burning all by itself, remember there was also a building full of people, equipment, and structure burning as well.
Furthermore, why don't you go to ground zero and take a look for yourself, there is a lot of damage to the buildings near the Towers as well...but I suppose that is part of the conspiracy too.
And where did the dust come from? I don't know, maybe hundreds of thousands of tons of steel and concrete in a free fall knocking against each other and breaking up after being pummeled by two huge jets? "Nope," they say "it was a government demolition crew" that cannot be verified by any facts or evidence.
When faced with two options, one that was literally witnessed and documented by thousands upon thousands of people; the other, a hilariously outlandish conspiracy involving hundreds of thousands of people (not one of which has come out to speak)Conspiracy theorists will always go with the second, the baseless, a tale truly worthy of L. R. Hubbard.

SME said...

I like the Jackie-shot-JFK and G.K. Chesteton-as-Jack-the-Ripper ones. You could probably get some support for that Jackie O. theory...she immediately blamed someone else, and tried to flee the scene...Plus, you could hide some serious weaponry under a pillbox hat.

beachblogger said...

great list!

my favorite new conspiracy: Elvis was planing to announce details of his faked death and release the schedule of a comeback tour but guess where he was: Top of the World restaurant in the WTC on September 11, 2001!

gf said...

Ya theres some crazy ones in there BUT just because the author of that page is ignorant to some real possible conspiracies does not make them invalid:

-not only is there a book called Communism and the Beatles but any band that sings about drugs, sex, and satan are promoted over any moralistic one...heck why do you think every Super Bowl (the most televised event in history) we get Janet Jackson showing her breast with an occultic-symbol nipple ring on it or Prince last year standing behind a giant 80 foot sheet of cloth so that he could cast a giant shadow of him and his guitar (the guitar had an arm that stuck out to look like a forked tail behind him) so it looked like satan playing the guitar...no, no way that there's satanists involved in the media..nooo way...wake the fuck up you idiots.

-I guess the author of the page here has found actual proof that Jesus did die on a cross despite all the numerous other "apocraphyl" books that say he didnt

-Considering Christ wants us to "eat him" and the popularity of mushrooms in CHRISTmas decor...aswell as the fact a mushroom looks like a penis, AND with the cult historys of religious sects I dont think this "theory" is so ridiculous.

-HIV could have been created in a lab. Whats so crazy about this? Ever heard the theory that we are all sheep and the world elite only have wars for population control? Its good this author thinks corruption could never happen on our planet. Just who really has their head in the sand seriously?

-The 1939 "War of the Worlds" broadcast most certainly could have been a government scheme to test the public. Do you really trust the Rockefellers?

-If you know anything about ancient history, the origin of "the dragon kings/Jews" was a blood drinking cult.

-Everyone knows Hitler had huge occultic beliefs. He associated with the Thule society and Madame Blavatsky and they taught that the Earth had hollow areas especially at the poles. Just look at magnetic lines of force at the poles of any magnet and theres a very good probabilty "something" exists at the poles of our planet (its even rumoured the Northern lights are the result of hollow areas at the poles).

-Denver airport DOES have an enormously huge secret underground city. This is one of the most known "secrets" about the airport. Come on its Colorado. If ever theres a state where you'd find "apocolyptic nutsos" its there.

-Gnosticism is based on the philosophy that Satan fell to Earth to reign over it until "Christ" comes to enslave him. Whats so weird about that? Seems more logical than any other interpretation of what may have happened.

-The Nation of Islam may be correct if you know anything about the Genesis stories and the Annunaki and there genetic manipulation of primitive humanoids for slave mining of gold.

-The middle ages being forged was first proposed by Isaac Newton and based on enormous mounting evidence that many historical figures were created to hide true bloodlines of royals. Most likely a black vs white racist agenda.

-Clinton signed into law many questionable acts. One act signed in just before he left office allows the senate to call for martial law WITHOUT the need of congress to ok it (or something to that effect).

-Flouride was used in the early 40's or 50's to keep prison inmates "docile". If you think every "miracle drug" the government oks for use is completely harmless...well then go nuts and stuff your fat ignorant faces with this stuff I dont care.

Anonymous said...

I cant beleive, that you call stupid some teories but you dont offer explanation and alternative, for exampe HIV and AIDS virus being geneticaly engeneered is there a proof that its not, or that it is ?

I cant beleive the ignorance.

Anonymous said...

You forgot Elvis is dead.

Zach said...

My fave 09/11 conspiracy is that is was retaliation by the French for us trying to assassinate Chirac by sabotaging the Concorde to crash into his plane which was on the runway at the time. (I really can't give this whole theory justice here just go read it http://www.vialls.com/transpositions/concorde.html)

I do just really want to know. If Chimpy McBushitler was behind 09/11 why didn't we "find" giant caches of nuclear weapons in Iraq? Why didn't we find an entire building with paperwork proving OBL was in bed with Saddam? Why haven't Michael Moore and the rest of these lunatics been "silenced" by the same secret ninja teams who planted all those tons of explosives all over NY without anybody noticing?

Anonymous said...

Here is a new one:

Canadians invented Ice Hockey to take over the United States and give the land back to the Queen of England.

Gerald said...

Oh, my word. I am shocked at how many people think 9-11 was fake.

They must not have maps, and everywhere like such as.

Can they really be serious? I suppose the Earth is fake, as well, and since air is not real either, they cannot breathe, so they must also be fake.

Riotous.

Anonymous said...

About 9/11...It's pretty much obvious to me that it was staged but none of the "stagers" expected the towers to fall...that is where they went wrong!too bad for them,they had to improvise on the fly hehehe. Just see the reaction on Bush in Moore's Farenheit, does any living person react like that on that kind of news and plus the chimp is the president??? Come on! There is too much evidence that supports this "conspiracy" theory but i'm not even going to bother to mention even one more...what's the point?!?

Tom said...

"Jet fuel could not bring down the twin towers."

And the Titanic couldn't have sunk because it was unsinkable!

Cory Casciato said...

Here's a great story about the DIA conspiracies, explored and mostly debunked in detail.

http://www.westword.com/2007-08-30/news/dia-conspiracies-take-off/full

Disclosure: I'm a freelance writer/blogger/photographer for for this paper.

Jabey said...

@ GF

Maybe I'm missing something. I don't remember seeing mushrooms in Christmas decor.

tshsmom said...

MY GOD!! Where's Penn and Teller when you need them?

I think I'm in love with Matthew and Jim! Thanks for adding your facts and reason to these comments! BTW, the "Truthers" are posting anonymously because they think the CIA is out to kill them. ;)

To the "Truther" who said that all the steel from the towers was hauled off 30 minutes after the towers fell.....GET REAL!! That has to be THE DUMBEST 9/11 conspiracy story I've heard yet!

AND...I have a friend who was working in the Pentagon on 9/11, and YES, there was plane wreckage!

SME said...

I think it takes slightly more than 30 minutes to remove all the wreckage from two skyscrapers. There's still a lot of stuff there - including human remains. Ground Zero is a disgraceful mess.

Mart said...

ELVIS shot JFK !

Bronze Dog said...

Clearing the wreckage in 30 minutes. I guess being unable to comprehend scale is pretty much a given with conspiracy nuts, but that really brings it into focus.

Anonymous said...

New World Order is a real plan, developed by the world leaders to kill 80% of the worlds population. 911, yes it f*cking was government sponsored terror, you ignorants! Connect the dots! There are witnesses, even one who was in tower 1 said that a bomb went off in the lobby BEFORE the first plane hit the tower! But no, blame it on the guy in the cave, the "Axis of Evil". The US government have such control over you that they can just point out which countries are evil, and you swallow it without even knowing what they're saying. The worlds most powerful people are f*cking evil , they don't care about you, but you wouldn't know cause you're fed with propaganda every day. Fluoride and aspartame are poisons, and they're putting fluoride in your drinking water.
Wake up. Do some research, Google it, listen to Alex Jones' radio show on www.infowars.com

Anonymous said...

The Twin Towers DID come down by controlled demolition, don'tcha know. The Men in Black used their invisibility cloaks and their cones of silence to hide while they planted the thermite, and then used their memory wipe devices just in case. What you saw in that movie was real. My second cousin once removed knows somebody who knows sombody with a degree in astrophysics who swears it's all true.

Snark aside, what seems to motivate some of the troofers is this thought that, by attributing 9/11 to terrorists, we are somehow defending george w. bush and justifying his Hulk Smash foreign policy. This is like claiming that Hitler was justified in what he did because it was Communists and not Nazis who torched the Reichstag.

aBoo said...

Just have one simple question to all this. Do you truly think that with such wast and eleaborate conspiracyes no one involved would tell.

Even smaller stuff which are supposed to be hidden get into the media 24\7 why havent this stuff been mentioned. Another thing im dying to know is who are the world elite? They must come from somwhere, after all you cannot have a world elite with no members ;-)

However i must admit a major part of me want to belive the theoryes.

SME said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I followed the link to the bushconnection site for some additional hilarity. I couldn't help but wonder about the poor people in the photos who are tagged as Nazi war criminal etc. Look at the 55 yr old Italian guy who is accused of being Josef Menegele the Anthrax Guy AND the Zodiac Killer.

"MENGELE'S WRIST WATCH IS EXPOSED, SYMBOLIZING "IT'S ANTHRAX TIME!"

SME said...

That's one busy dude. I bet he's also the real Unabomber, D.B. Cooper, and the inventor of Twinkies.

geekomancerone said...

Okay... I'm gonna try and do this without sounding like a loon...

Now, while I *really* doubt 9/11 was an inside job, there is a bunch of weirdness involved, certainly some incompetence by the Alphabet Agencies. Also, I doubt anyone can say the government hasn't taken advantage of 9/11 to tighten the reins a bit and justify global policy. I'm not an engineer, scientist, or politician (nor do I play one on the internet) but I think some of the explanations given are funky. But like I said, I'm not a scientist, et al.

For all you debunkers out there, if you're so sure that you're right, why even mock the "truthers" as you call them? When you mock them, all you do is convince them that you're part of the problem.

All you believers out there... for God sakes, use proper punctuation and at least try good spelling, and lay off the frickin caps already. It's not convincing people you're right. It just makes you look more loony.

Actually, the caps part applies the everyone :P

I think people would get along better if everyone would at least try and have an open mind.

Just my two cents, great blog SME.

-Mike

Kai89 said...

ok this is what i dont get

* The twin towers were SPECIFICALLY designed to withstand air crashes
* WTC7 fell into its exact footprint due to a small fire
* Never in the history of the world has a pancake collapse sped up, a 100floor+ building such as the twin towers would have a calculated pancake collapse time of over 1 min 30. The twin towers fell in 9 and 11 seconds, which is easier/quicker walking through a closed door, or one that is open, ie the floor below must have completely disintigrated before the one above even touched it
* The hole in the pentagon did not have any marks where the wings would have hit, only a hole 16m in diameter.
* The FBI have a tap showing something hit the pentagon, yet they only release 3 frames of it, none of which clearly show a plane, why dont they show the world the tape...if they have nothing to hide
* You can see squibs (explosions used to demolish buildings) coming out of the side of WTC 1 and 2
* The sniffer dogs used to detect bombs were removed a week before 9/11
* The entire security system in WTC 1 and 2 were occasionally down in the weeks leading up to 9/11, meaning in those times there would be no CCTV
* WTC 7 was the first steel frame buildings in the history of the world to collapse due to fire alone, a building in madrid burned for 24 hours at 1000 degrees c, and yet did not collapse
* The empire state building was hit by a bomber in ww2 that was lost in the fog, it still stands today
* Demolishion experts cut vertical columnes at 45 degrees, some pictures of the site after 9/11 show steel columns cut to exactly 45 degrees.

Now thats quite a lot of evidence if you ask me

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Anonymous said...

How about this one. FBI Agent with most knowledge of anyone on Osama Bin Laden gets fired and then hired to run security for a skyscraper. The buildings? WTC. His first day? September 11, 2001. All a conspiracy folks.

SME said...

What are you saying, Anon? 9/11 was arranged to eliminate John O'Neill? If anything, 9/11 proved him right. I don't understand why he is a central figure in conspiracy scenarios.

Gus said...

Thanks for always giving me something to laugh about while at work.

BUST! said...

I got to this blog by googling 'Worlds Stupidest Conspiracy Theories'. How did all you believers end up here? Googling for material to use on drunk girls in bars to make yourself seem "intellectual"?

I have a questions - how many big world-wide conspiracies have been exposed and the truth admitted by the conspirators before? Of these probably non-existant exposes, how many do you think were uncovered by a conspiracy theorist with wads of websites to back him up? Or how many world-killing conspiracies have you secretly thwarted? Do we owe out lives to you truthers? Please, I really do wish to know what you achieve exactly.

In science, sometimes they do these things called experiments. Lots of times scientists theorise something will happen as a result of the experiment but something different actually happens. Usually they say 'Wow! How did that happen!' and then they discover there was a factor they hadnt thought of before and couldnt have known about because it was the first time this experiment had ever happened. Like big planes crashing deliberately into skyscrapers to make them fall down. MADNESS!

Matt Duensing said...

I have recently published a conspiracy on my blog that is founded on solid facts and there needs to be something done about it! Please view and tell me what you think.

http://lifesdetective.blogspot.com/2008/01/fluoride-in-our-water-forced-domestic.html

SME said...

Don't drink tapwater. Problem solved.

Anonymous said...

I think the mythbusters should test these theories out!!! ;)

Anonymous said...

i think the problem with all of these 'conspiracy theories' is the fact that we all have free will, we all have the choice between right and wrong, true or false.
i doubt we will ever know whats true and whats not to be quite honest i think we're all plotting against eachother with the amount of free will and opinions in the world today - surely freewill and opinion is the foot of all evil?
i believe this is all a part of fate and we are going to come to some sort of tragic end because of how evil we are. this wont make sense to the naive people out there but just think about this one guys. - oh and before i go; we dont even know who these people are posting these things on this forum/blog..it could be ANYONe and by that i hope you all know what i mean.
GEORGE BUSH IF YOUR READING I THINK YOUR A CUNT, MY SISTER COULD RUN THE COUNTRY BETTER AND SHES 4 AND A HALF. YOU HAVE THE BRAIN SPAN OF A FISH.
OH AND ANY OTHER SECRET AGENTS READING, YOU ARE ALSO CUNTS.

good day.

Anonymous said...

....and from GTA San Andreas:

JFK isn't dead!
He runs a farm in Scotland together with Janis Joplin!

:)

SME said...

Heh heh, I like anon's "freewill and opinion is the foot of all evil". I think I'll put that in a "strangest comment quotes" post someday.

Personally, I believe that selfishness and deep-fried vegetables are the root of all evil.

Anonymous said...

SME - shut up you patronising arse.

SME said...

Oh hi Mr. B.! Fancy meeting you here.

Anonymous said...

Here's the World Trade Center architect telling that the Bin Ladens asked him where to put the demolition charges.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_3ScRx9gvc

SME said...

That fellow is not actually an architect in any accepted sense of the word, and as an alleged short-term underling to one of the principal designers, I question if he would actually have been privy to sensitive information of any kind. Even my Truther spouse found the interview highly suspect and of no value to his cause.

PhantomWolf said...

"* The twin towers were SPECIFICALLY designed to withstand air crashes"

- No, the design was checked with the abilities they had in the 1960's to see if it would and they believed that the buildings were able too. They were right, the buildings DID withstand the crash; it was continuing damage from the fires that took them down.

"* WTC7 fell into its exact footprint due to a small fire "

- Not True, the collapse of WTC 7 damaged several nearby buildings, several bad enough that they have had to be, or are scheduled to be demolished. The fires according to the FDNY were not small but the largest office fire they had ever seen. It was described as multiple 6-alarm fires and the building being fully involved. Were the FDNY Firemen lying?

"* Never in the history of the world has a pancake collapse sped up, a 100floor+ building such as the twin towers would have a calculated pancake collapse time of over 1 min 30. The twin towers fell in 9 and 11 seconds, which is easier/quicker walking through a closed door, or one that is open, ie the floor below must have completely disintigrated before the one above even touched it"

- Incorrect. The collapses took 16-18 and 18-20 sec. Don't believe me, get a stop watch and time a video of them. NIST put the first panels hitting the ground at 10 sec for WTC 2 and 11 for WTC 1, and the rest of the collapse is still far above them at that time. Also ALL pancake collapses speed up as they happen, this is called physics. If the momentum is high enough for the energy to destroy the floor the building top impacts, then it is still moving after impact. The acceleration from gravity will then mean when it connects the next floor it will be moving faster than the previous. Thus the collapse MUST accelerate.

"* The hole in the pentagon did not have any marks where the wings would have hit, only a hole 16m in diameter."

Incorrect, the damage from the wings is quite obvious in the images and the entire hole in the ground floor was much wider.

"* The FBI have a tap showing something hit the pentagon, yet they only release 3 frames of it, none of which clearly show a plane, why dont they show the world the tape...if they have nothing to hide"

The Plane was moving around 400-500mph, it was only on 3 frames. Also the FBI didn't release it (the first leak was from the lawyers of the Victims' Families, and the second release was through the DoJ.) One of the Frames shows the plane itself, but due to resolution, focus, and the planes colour scheme it is admittedly hard to see.

"* You can see squibs (explosions used to demolish buildings) coming out of the side of WTC 1 and 2"

Incorrect. Firstly squibs are small firecrackers, not demolition charges. Secondly, the puffs of smoke and dust are flows, they speed up as the collapse gets closer. Explosions seen in CD result in fast ejections of smoke and debris that then slows. What is seen in the WTC collapse is totally the opposite of what would be see in an explosion.

"* The sniffer dogs used to detect bombs were removed a week before 9/11"

- Incorrect. The WTC was on heightened alert against a possible attack until the Friday before the attacks. As a result they had EXTRA security. The threat level was lowered and the extra security ended, but sniffer dogs and normal levels of security remained. One such dog is known to have died in the attacks.

"* The entire security system in WTC 1 and 2 were occasionally down in the weeks leading up to 9/11, meaning in those times there would be no CCTV"

- There has never been any evidence provided to substantiate that this claim is true. Claims of power downs have been conclusively shown to be untrue by the production of tickets to the skydecks and photos of the lit up towers during the supposed power down time.

"* WTC 7 was the first steel frame buildings in the history of the world to collapse due to fire alone, a building in madrid burned for 24 hours at 1000 degrees c, and yet did not collapse"

Incorrect. The Kader Toy factory was a steel framed building that collapsed due to fire alone. The Windsor Tower in Madrid was far smaller than the WTC, about the size of the core alone, and it had a concrete core. The outer steel shell of the Windsor Tower DID collapse!

"* The empire state building was hit by a bomber in ww2 that was lost in the fog, it still stands today"

The Empire State building is a classic column and beam structure, not open plan truss and tube like the WTC was, and it was hit by a slow moving B-27, a far smaller plane. It still suffered extensive fires and damage though.

"* Demolishion experts cut vertical columnes at 45 degrees, some pictures of the site after 9/11 show steel columns cut to exactly 45 degrees."

- And other pictures show the clean up crews cutting those steel columns at 45 degree angles with torches and thermic lances. The steel on the cut beams bear the striation marks of being cut by the clean up crews.

"Now thats quite a lot of evidence if you ask me"

- No, it's a lot of hockey and garbage dredged up by someone that only reads the conspiracy sites and has no idea what they are talking about.

SME said...

Excellent stuff, PhantomWolf!

ElvisTheMagicalFlyingNinjaLizard said...

Elvis killed JFK, and the world is run by Lizard people!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:)

butcher said...

The world is a powerful dream
Nothing is what it seems
Everything is misunderstood

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Steven said...

If you think about it really carefully, there are no conspiracy theories... And all you people are disccusing and arguing over (@Matthew), is a matter of opinion and influenced views.

Think about it. How do you believe a conspiracy theory started? It was either the "Goverenment" telling the truth to someone who would spread that truth to the world. Or, more likely, It was someone who saw what happened, and thought "but what if that never happened." And then he would spread THAT OPINION to the world.

Conspiracies are views. Views and Opinions. Nothing more, Nothing Less. This is my opinion, and I believe it is a fairly good one at that.

But Once again, To all of you. I don't mean to cause another Internet Argument or anything, at the end of the day, you believe what you want to. Infact...

There is only one conspiracy/opinion that i am interested into at the moment. That is the Mary Magdelin and Jesus Christ Conspiracy. This I am looking into alot more than anything else because this is not something that, (lets put 9/11 into context) can just shake the foundation of america if it really is a hoax. But if it is a hoax, This Christ Conspiracy could break down the entire world, and can cause either choatic confusion, or greater good to all the known religions in the world.

People believe what they want to. And all i ask, Is that every post after this.. what you believe about different conspiracies. Not why... Don't explain why you think what you do. Just say What the event ion history is and what you think of it. I'll start..

9/11 = Hoax
Christ = Definate Hoax, worth looking into.

I can name a few others but you get my drift. So please, don't dispute on what i have said today, this is just my opinion, and if someone thinks "We don't want to hear someones opinion" then... if you think hard about it.. you have done.. by listening to the "Conspiracies" over the internet. :D

Thank you for listening and please, put down what you think of the conspiracies.. not why you think that.

Thanks again :)

Steven W.

Rincewind said...

I like how the 9/11 truthers have responded to matthew getting fed up with holding a debate on the comments thread with half a dozen anonymous posters under the same name - gets declared as "defeated" when offering to hold a consistent email discussion.

Claim: Kerosine doesn't burn hot enough to melt steel.

Fact: Correctomondo.

Assumption: The steel needed to melt to be structurally weakened.

Fact: Wrong.

---------

Claim: the WTC collapsed by thermite, straight down into itself as like a controlled demolition.

The obvious:
http://media.popularmechanics.com/images/911-south-tower-collapse.jpg
The thermite would have to be placed exactly where the collapse is seen here starting, exactly where the plane is going to crash.

But what about all the eye-witnesses that saw/heard/felt thermite on the ground floor? Buy one get one free? Bargain.

Here comes the deluge of insults. Get the popcorn ready.

SME said...

Of course jet fuel can't melt steel. Only UFO laserbeams can do that. Duh.

Anonymous said...

Good ole USA the home of the conspiracies.

Calm down lads.

Entertainment Master said...

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Anonymous said...

I used to believe in conspiracy theories, I bought into the David icke, William cooper bullshit. I realized that most of these conspiracies are just too far fetched to be believed. It all comes down to selling books, dvd's, and tickets to presentations by these people claiming to have uncovered some kind of hidden truth.
David icke charges about 45 euros a pop to hear him speak about reptillian humanoids that run earth, and how the elite want to implant RFID chips to control humans. Yeah if he cared about our well being he would give it away for free.
I got tired of waiting for certain events to take place, the end of the world, the new world order, the amero, the RFID chips, and blah blah blah. Conspiracy theorist deeply believe all this nonsense and when someone comes along and clarifies this they get mad and want you to believe the "special knowledge" they have. Then they say that you're a dissinformation agent or that you work for the government.
I ask all conspiracy theorist one thing, if the knowledge you posses is so secret, then how is it that you know it?
Seriously let's be real!

Anonymous said...

i find this one a little unusual myself...

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Anonymous said...

entertaining.

lol

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Anonymous said...

craaaab people craaaab people

Anonymous said...

Whoa crap Mark Zahn's been immortalized on the 'Net! His name really is Mark D. Zahn and he's a 39 year old originally from Wisconsin that is homeless and frequents Boulder, Littleton and the surrounding cities in Colorado. Been like that for approximately 12years it seems. His idols are Adolf Hitler, Jon Bon Jovi, and Thomas Jefferson. He's a paranoid schizo who believes himself to be the reincarnated Bruce Lee, Hitler, and Jefferson, amongst others. He believes there's a conspiracy out to get him since he left Wisconsin in 1996(?) led by the Canadian rock band Rush, Stephen Spielberg, George Lucas and his ex-girlfriend Virginia Newbon. Depending on what day it is other conspirators including the the Cho's Taekwondo instructional dojo in Wisconwin, Clint Eastwood, Wisconsin businessman Dick Strong (an ex-employer), Elvis Presley, and another ex-girlfriend Stephanie Freiboth. Hobbies include mountain biking, filming amateur home videos of his homeless adventures in and around Colorado and posting them on the Internet, watching movies to spot the conspiracy against him, and posting long rants on the public Usenet newsgroups of bands like Rush/Dream Theater/Bon Jovi and making them his own personal "blog" about his various conspiracy theories and thinking he's communicating directly with these people through psychic thoughts. Essentially he thinks he's the center of the universe.

Anonymous said...

Well here are couuple of really wild ones.

The US won the Korean War by nuking the British at the Alamo.

And---The disappearance of the Mother Theresa cinnamon bun(AKA "The Nun Bun")...it was born in Nashville,and disappeared on christmas eve...in a burglary from a business and was the only thing stolen.---but that's not the weird part.What's really weird is that the Elvis Bun disappeared in Memphis on a Xmas eve 4500 years ago in a similar coffee-shop robbery.

Anonymous said...

I wrote the last one too.This Elvis bun is fascinating stuff.It's really hard to track down anything remotely related to it except for the Nun Bun and the Lincoln Squirrel(RIP).
---an obvious wacko* once told me that the Elvis Bun had been seen at The Mall of America selling Amway,but this was later disputed as it may have been an Orange Julius from a stand and not home products from the trunk of his car. *dude was wearing an Izod polo shirt with a Polo oxford.Strange indeed. Call me MC Diss in Formation.

SME said...

Lord Lucan ate the nun bun.

Anonymous said...

:( I would dare say there could be a grain of truth to each one of these. Not to believe the entire stories (like urban myths) but a grain of truth.

Anonymous said...

if you don't believe that the united states government had something to do with 9/11, swallow your pride and watch the movie "Loose Change: 911" (its on youtube for free) just because you don't want to believe it dosen't make everyone else wrong. the movie is jam packed with actual documented evidence suggesting to an extreme measure that our own government played a huge roll in planning and executing the attacks on the WTC in 2001. if you are 100% sure that you are right and our government is innocent, watch it anyway so you know what to argue against, don't just go by what other people tell you, that's a lazy ignorant way to live, learn for yourself and develop your own opinions. think for yourself for gods sake, were not children anymore so wake up and smell the governmental bullshit.

Gold Guide for World of Warcraft said...

good post :)

SME said...

Thanks for that timely wakeup call, Anon. I've only seen Loose Change half a dozen times, so I'm hoping that I'll glean something factual and informative from it on the seventh or eighth viewing.
Remember, Elvis didn't do drugs.

Anonymous said...

I like the conspiracy theory that insects are an old form of espionage with hidden cameras tied within their skulls for the FBI and CIA to know what you are doing. House Flies are the most common form and if you fail to kill the fly, it's really a "tool fly" or something like that. They are being used to spy on the business of other people rather than using them to solve other mysteries and crimes. Yeah, makes perfect sense. -_-

SME said...

This may have been a conspiracy theory at one time, but now there are artificial spy bugs.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/10/08/AR2007100801434.html

Still waiting for the Modified Attack Baboons, tho.

Anonymous said...

''God cant be unproven''

WTF

there is no god.

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warlord2080 said...

the crazy one is the world is being controlled by shape shifting reptoids and they drink human blood to keep their human appearance. Another one 9/11 was brought down by a lazer from outer space.

ericswan said...

Some chemtrail data should have included it's effects on the time travellers..

http://www.scribd.com/doc/11574482/Nichols-Preston-B-The-Montauk-Project-Experiments-in-Time

ericswan said...

Some chemtrail data should have included it's effects on the time travellers..

http://www.scribd.com/doc/11574482/Nichols-Preston-B-The-Montauk-Project-Experiments-in-Time

Anonymous said...

I can't believe the 2012 or anything like that isn't on here

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Anonymous said...

is it barrak hussain obama & biden? or sadaam hussain & osama bin laden? coincidence? i think not. obama IS osama. what better way to hide the worlds most wanted man by turning him into the president. also some clouds are just huge swarms of microscopic cameras watching your every move.

Anonymous said...

wow, you guys are so smart to believe all of this. you must believe we came from monkeys to!

Angantyr said...

''Jesus staged his crucifixion''

How is this a stupid conspiracy theory? It would be entirelly possible save for one thing; Jesus wasn't real. The existence of Jesus is the biggest, stupidest consoiracy theory.

adler_p1 said...

As a Christian, I strongly believe the Jesus did not "stage his death." It is pretty obvious he was killed, even to Atheists it should be pretty obvious. Only some people are lucky enough to know that he was resurrected.

Anonymous said...

A 300 meter tower with jet fuel burning in it acts as a giant furnace, sucking in oxygen like a giant blast furnace - steel melts very easily. Simple science, but thats not very interesting is it :):):)

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